Provident, Inc.

Provident's VP of Life Crisis Services, Sue Self, quoted in Suburban Journal article regarding teen suicide risk.

FAMILY MATTERS: Behavior changes can reveal teen suicide risk

By Dennis O'Brien Tuesday, June 23, 2009 1:18 AM CDT

The recent suicide of a Florissant youth who apparently shot himself after battling depression for years should sound another wake-up call for parents and others who deal with young people.

Teenage suicide also is a huge problem that no one wants to talk about. After a suicide occurs, schools often respond with silence and fail to use it as a teachable moment for other children. It's almost as if talking about suicide will trigger it and ignoring it will prevent it.

Nationally, suicide is the third-leading cause of death for young people ages 15 through 24. As many as 4,000 young people in the United States die by suicide every year. More than 40 St. Louis area children commit suicide each year.

Horrifying as these figures are, a death by suicide is only the apex of an enormous pyramid of pain. Consider these statistics:

• For each completed teen suicide, it is estimated as many as 200 others will be attempted.
• One of 10 students attempts suicide by the time he or she finishes high school.
• Two of 10 high school students claim to have seriously considered suicide within the past year.
• Six of 10 teens report having had suicidal thoughts or intentions.
• One male student and two female students in a typical high school classroom have attempted suicide, and three others seriously considered it within the past year.

What prompts someone to reach such a level of despondency? Those who have lived through an attempt to kill themselves say suicide is perceived primarily as a way to end a seemingly hopeless and painful situation.

In other words, suicide stems not so much from a determination to die but a desperate desire to escape pain. Deep down, most young people who consider suicide truly want to live - without pain.

"Young people struggling with overwhelming feelings of despair truly don't want to die," said Elizabeth Makulec, executive director of KUTO, Kids Under Twenty One, a youth organization that sponsors a teen crisis hotline staffed exclusively by trained teens. "They are more desperate to bring an end to the unforgiving emotional pain which has consumed their lives."

Fortunately, there seems to be a relatively narrow window of time when the risk of suicide is most acute.

"It's important to remember that suicide isn't the problem; the real problem is finding ways to cope with debilitating feelings of hopelessness and helplessness," Makulec said.

If a person can survive this critical period and deal with the underlying causes of depression, the risk of suicide quite likely will recede.

Alert parents can make a difference.

"The most important things parents need to watch for are changes in behavior, such as changes in eating, sleeping, a drop in grades or a whole new set of friends," said Sue Self, director of Provident's Life Crisis Services hotline. "When you see things that say 'That's not my child,' it's time to take notice.

"When you decide your child needs help, try to be informed about warning signs and medications and work as closely as you can with whoever is working with your child. The common goal is the best interest of your child, and that can be best achieved when you work together, just as you would with a teacher or counselor at school."

Experts insist the best way to prevent suicide is to know the warning signs and address the possibility directly with a person at risk, close friends and authorities.

Many young people might be alive today had someone noticed their despondence, engaged them in talking about what was really going on and asked directly: "Do you feel like killing yourself? How do you plan to kill yourself?"

These are important questions because they open the door for an emotionally troubled person to express the depth of his or her pain and reveal the seriousness of his or her intent to end it. The more detailed the plan for suicide, the greater the threat.

Asking about suicide certainly does not cause it and is often the first step to preventing it.

Warning signs of an impending suicide include: significant losses, risk-taking behavior, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, drug or alcohol abuse, a sudden surge of energy following a period of depression, making final arrangements, giving away prized possessions, and talking, joking or writing about death or suicide.

Be sure to take all threats seriously and consult quickly with an experienced professional who can assess your concerns and help plan an intervention.

The St. Louis region is fortunate to have two outstanding organizations which address suicide issues. For more information, visit www.kuto.org or www.providentstl.org. For hotline help, call (314) 647-HELP (4357) or� 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or (314) 644-KUTO.